Looking beyond the everyday
Updated: Aug 15, 2018
Looking past what is our today seems so far away & often out of our reach, to have a goal , a mission , a dream is for many of us something we aspire to but actually don't put into action.
Everyday moments make & shape our lives & before we know it 10 years have passed & we haven't changed anything or achieved what we hoped to.
Years can creep up on us & goals we set at New Years have long but vanished, so how to focus on making that change?
Life can & will get in the way of something you want to achieve, so to make that something happen really takes persistence. When we are babies we are just compelled to reach each milestone, with the exception of a physical condition or accident that stops us...babies inherently know how to walk, they just do it, they just decide one day thats it ...enough sitting around ...I'm off to explore my world.
We need to re-connect to that drive , that nothing will stop us , that a few trips & stumbles aren't going to keep us from those first unconfident wobbles to nailing a strong stride.
It's still there in all of us , it might be hidden, it might be buried by life events & unfortunate situations but it is still there in all of us.
I witnessed a beautiful moment from a guy recently who, for many years had become the carer of his mother-in-law, along with is wife, they both took caring to another level, making sure their elderly relative was not only physically well cared for but also emotionally, the family were pushed to breaking point when the Mother started showing signs of dementia, eventually it was decided that it would be in her best interests to go into a home. This shattered the family & they felt so much guilt in deciding to place her into a residential home. They were left with a huge gaping hole when, after a rocky start the Mother actually settled in & felt at home in her new surroundings. This left the family wondering what they should do with their time, they felt guilt at leaving her but lost at not knowing their places now. The breakthrough moment came when the guy was telling us his dilemma over his purpose now, wondering what to do when he literally broke down & cried.There was this big, strong guy in tears over what he was feeling, in that moment he couldn't see past the everyday or beyond that day, much less any brighter days in the future.
I told him he needed to get back to his passion, which was photography, & actually he was very good at it. He needed that purpose back in his life, his enjoyment & focus on something for himself & without guilt attached to it.
His wife needed him to lessen the guilt he felt as he had taken so much of it on, they both needed him to look beyond that day.
He dried his tears, thanked me for the chat & went off to get a coffee, the warmest of moments happened when as I turned to leave I saw him take out his camera & start taking pictures, the essence of who he was returned in the smile that reached his eyes.
It was a simple exchange of words that showed him he had a reason to smile for himself, to take the time to enjoy something he loved & that he could look beyond the everyday.
The everyday now is something he is working on, enjoying his photography & working on achieving his guilt free days.
The Everydayness of everyday doesn't have to suck the life out of you, it can give your hopes & goals the action you need.
When Lauren came to see me she was hugely anxious in her everyday. It had become a daily battle just to get through every day, we had a session & in her breakthrough moment she shed the layers of doubt about who she was & what she was capable of in one session... it was awe inspiring to see her post a picture of her paddle boarding in Thailand, when previously her everyday meant a physical panic attack when she drove to work. The session showed her how she had made the connections that had kept her locked within herself & it was limiting her life & self esteem.
To look beyond your current everyday & make a change can feel so daunting, but when the breakthrough moments happen you will love your new everyday with so much more joy for life & all you can achieve.
Re-connect with the baby that took it's first steps into the world & don't let anything stop you, if it does, reach out for help, for a conversation or perspective that is different from what you have been living & watch your everyday change.